Sunday, 21 January 2018

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining – How To Find Something Positive In Difficult Moments?



Sometimes I get into a “complaining mode”. I’m dissatisfied with everything: that I have to get up early, that I don’t know what to eat, that it’s too cold, too hot, that I have too much work and some people annoy me. Besides those silly worries, sometimes life gets messed up and it’s really difficult to find anything positive in it. There are also times when my plans fall apart, regardless of my best efforts and I lose my whole motivation.


In moments like that, I like to look back at my life and think about all those bad and difficult situations that had a surprisingly positive outcome. It’s not easy. It happens that a certain event can make me so mad, that I don’t even want to admit that there may be a lesson to learn, I just wish it didn’t happen. No matter how much I’d like to, I can’t go back in time. So I give myself a little bit of time to calm down and then convince myself that it’s better to use my time and energy to find some positives instead of dwelling on the past.

Most of the time I’m amazed how unexpected the outcome was in many hopeless situations, and how events in my life are connected, without me planning it.

It began with choosing a school than regretting it, because I realized I could make a different, better choice. It turned out that without graduating this school I would not be able to get my first real office job. The job was a nightmare, my boss was horrible, but it looked good on my resume and it opened door to other opportunities, and finally to my current job that I actually like.

Due to some family problems, I had to suddenly change from a spoiled kid to very responsible person. The situation itself was awful, but I know now it was for the better for everyone and otherwise, I would have never learned how to be self-reliant to the level that I am now.

Recently I came across a Taoist story called “Maybe”. The author is unknown but I this version is from Katinka Hesselink blog.

"There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer."


This story reminded me again that many bad moments in my life gave me something good later. And like in the story there were experiences that I was excited about and thought were good for me, but they weren’t. Anyway there’s always something to learn from all those situations, something that you can’t get from a course or a book.

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